Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is “Softly, Softly, One Day at a Time” >>Listen

One of the advantages of being a grown up is that we have developed the ability to plan ahead. We are pretty good at planning for long term, aren’t we? And certainly this is a skill we want to teach our kids.

But there is something they can teach us, as well. And that is to live in the moment. A mom I recently spoke with told me her son had been accepted into the college of his choice. She said he was thrilled the day the notice arrived and obviously is looking forward to attending. But his real focus is on the baseball season that has begun…. Fall is a long time away. Baseball is what he is experiencing today, and this teenager, like yours, is living in the moment. I suggest we adults spend more time joining our teenagers in the present moment. It can do a lot for our relationship.

I recently asked parents on my Facebook page (“ParentingTeenagers”) to consider what they could have done differently when faced with a mistake their teen made. One mom responded by saying she has developed a mantra “Softly, softly; One day at a time.” I like that.

Even if you are in a challenging place with your teen you can benefit by thinking short term… focus on moments, or just “one day at a time.” You see, our long term vision can be a distraction; we tend to “awfulize” the consequences of the homework assignment not turned in, the sloppy habits she is developing in her messy room, the long term dangers of communicating with friends via text messaging.

Let’s take a break from this perspective and today focus on the short term, the present moment. Consider each little conversation, each activity, each interaction. What can you do or say right now to make your teen feel good? What is something your teen loves to do, and how can you connect in that activity today? Be soft; be open. It’s a subtle attitude shift. For the time being don’t plan ahead. Don’t think “big picture.” Don’t worry about the consequences of his mistakes. Just take this one day softly, softly.

Thanks for subscribing to my 2 Minute Tips for Parenting Teens. ‘Til next week, I’m Sue Blaney.