Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Be “involved,” not “resistant.” >>Listen

This week’s tip came right out of the mouth of the mother of two boys, 11 and 13. Jennie is one of the most caring and smart moms I know, and although she uses technology for her job, and she’s a relatively competent computer user, she said she was “resistant” to more technology in their lives. And until she invested some time to really understand the point of view of her sons - who are digital natives - she thought she could leave well enough alone. Upon further reflection, however, she says she wants to be involved, not resistant.

It’s helpful to consider the attitude you project when it comes to your teenagers and their use of technology and the internet. If you are resistant instead of open to learning and experimenting a bit, you may be communicating fear and danger unnecessarily, you may be forcing your kids to go behind your back, and you are probably limiting your child’s ability to develop skills and discernment that are vital in today’s digital world.

Frontline (PBS) has created a very interesting program called Digital Nation which guides you to examine your parenting in today’s digital world. They even created an online quiz you can take to facilitate your reflection on your digital parenting style. (Click to take the quiz) They show parenting styles on a contiuum. At one end of the continuum they refer to the parenting style as “protect and limit,” and the other end of the spectrum they refer to it as “empower and engage.” There is merit to both approaches, - and everything in between - and as you choose the approach that feels best for you, you will want to take into account the age of your teen, your teen’s temperament and knowledge, as well as your values and beliefs. What’s most important is to make this an informed and intentional approach…. Not one by default or fear.

Jennie’s insight was “I better hop on board, or my boys are going to do this without me.”

Although becoming comfortable with the technology they use daily can be intimidating for an adult, everyone will be better off if you are involved rather than resistant to it. I encourage you to take the online quiz and review the excellent PBS site. And give some serious thought to the digital parenting style that will best support your teen’s growth.

Thanks for subscribing to my 2 Minute Tips for Parenting Teens. ‘Til next week, I’m Sue Blaney.