My tip this week is Solicit Your Teen’s Opinion >>Listen

Charles didn’t know what to think last summer while on vacation with his wife and 13 year old daughter. They were looking for a restaurant for dinner after a long and grueling drive and when he glanced in the back seat at his daughter he saw that she was crying. He was stunned and clueless about what was bothering her. He later learned that she was upset because she hadn’t been consulted as they were selecting where to eat…and truthfully she was upset because this wasn’t the first time this had happened on their trip. He learned that his daughter’s perception was that they weren’t taking her feelings or opinions into account. These caring parents had inadvertently made their daughter feel very unimportant.

Clearly she is a sensitive child to have had this bring her to tears… and it serves as a great example because you might wonder how many times you may have inadvertently hurt your teen’s feelings and not known it at all. At least these parents were able to tune in, repair the damage and behave in a more sensitive fashion.

There are some situations where parents alone should be making the decisions. And there are many more situations where it is appropriate and helpful to include your teenager in family discussions, choices and decisions. Parents who are accustomed to making decisions and taking the lead may need to consciously remind yourself to do this. Not only does it recognize your teen’s importance as a member of the family, it gives them practice in expressing their opinions and it gives you insight into your teen’s tastes and views.

Solicit your teenager’s opinions whenever possible. What they think matters a lot. And they have lots to offer your family even if their view differs from yours.

Thanks for subscribing to my 2 Minute Tips for Parenting Teens. ‘Til next week, I’m Sue Blaney.