Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Be the Calm in the Storm >>Listen

This two-minute-tip is easier said than done, I’ll readily admit it. But it’s really important that you try.

Marcia has a teenager with bi-polar disorder and depression. Over the years she has faced drama, confusion, fear, despair and challenges you and I can only imagine. One big lesson she has learned is the importance of parental calm. She said to me “If your child is in turmoil, the best thing you can do is be calm.”

We’ve discussed teenagers and their emotions here many times. We know that teens feel their emotions at twice the intensity as adults. We know that some teens tend to have big emotional swings - high highs and low lows. We know there are dramas, misunderstandings, responses from pressure around school and issues in their ever-important social world. Teens may over-react. They may express their confusion and pain and fear in ways that cause upset in your home and dramas you don’t need.

And through it all, you have a choice. You can make matters worse, or you can make them better. You will make them better if you can be the calm in the storm.

Here are four simple steps you can take to help achieve this:

1. The first step in being the “calm” is to establish this as your goal. Make a decision that you are not going to over-react. Set the intention to exhibit behavior that sets the tone you wish to see.
2. Breathe deeply. Seriously, this step helps to slow down your reactions and gives you a chance to think. Try to build this step into your habits.
3. If you do need to say something, say it kindly then leave the room. If emotions are high this isn’t a good time for discussion. Say what you need to say but don’t engage in the drama yourself.
4. Find an appropriate outlet for your feelings. Take a walk, listen to some music on your headphones, talk with a friend, write in your journal, or work on getting your blackbelt in karate. Do something for you that allows you to express your feelings in a productive way.

Being the calm in the storm isn’t always easy, but it can be the single best way to support your teen and show your love. Thanks for subscribing to my 2 Minute Tips for parenting teens, til next week, I’m Sue Blaney.