Coach Your Teen to Handle Stress Productively 2 Min Tip #80

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is coach your teen to handle stress productively. >>Listen

Stress is a big issue with teenagers today. Stress from school is a number one complaint, and kids face stress from many other areas in life – too many activities, poor self-image, illness, family financial problems, separation or divorce …you really can’t eliminate stress from your teen’s life. But there are some ways you can help your kids deal with it.  Let’s consider how you can teach your teenager to manage the stress he faces.

First, I suggest you adopt an attitude of “coach” on this subject, and let your teenager know that stress is a part of life that is both good and bad. Stress causes the release of adrenalin that helps her score the goal or ace the math test; and even “bad” stress is a part of life for which one can develop strategies. You are going to help teach him this as an important life skill.

Here are six ways you can provide helpful guidance and coaching:

• Encourage appropriate expectations. Often teenagers have expectations of themselves that are unrealistic, making it difficult for them to enjoy a sense of success. Look in the mirror on this point too, and make sure your expectations of your teenager are realistic and fair. If your teen is struggling in an honors level class, for instance, she may be much more successful moving down a level.

• Predictability influences your teen’s perception of stress. Help him increase the predictability in his life. For instance, if his grades are fluctuating from high to low, help him get some tutoring or quiz him before his tests so he see the linkage between preparation and results. These are important dots to connect… that may not be so obvious to your teen.

• A sense of competency is an area that often trips teens up. Many do not have a realistic sense of their abilities and they may set goals that are unrealistic. Help your teen by giving her opportunities to become really good at something – even if it is knitting or babysitting! A sense of competency in one area will spill over into confidence in other areas and help to mitigate stress.

• Help her gain a sense of control. If her life feels out of control in one area – perhaps a parent is out of work and maybe your family is in financial stress – help her gain control in another area where she can feel successful. This situation may be more difficult for you to spot, so tune in with sensitivity on this.

• A supportive social environment is vital to a teen’s ability to handle stress. She needs a good friend. A good friend can provide an essential buffer against stress, and being with friends offers a way to release and process her feelings.

• Appreciate your teenager’s point of view. Too often adults minimize a teen by saying “what you are stressed about is not that big a deal.”  This can actually infuriate a teen and increase his sense of stress. Rather, it may be much more helpful to validate his feelings, and offer suggestions for a solution only if he asks.

Tune in to your teenager and what causes him stress, and try hard to put yourself in his shoes. Simply because of his age, he lacks the experience to understand that the stress he faces today promises to change. Help your teen learn to develop the coping skills s/he can use for life.

Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. ‘Til next week…I'm Sue Blaney