Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Give Things Time to Settle in Times of Transition >>Listen

Transitions can be tough on many of us. Whether you just put your 6th grader on the bus for middle school, or dropped your college freshman off at school a thousand miles away, it takes some time to get used to big changes. There are many adjustments to make when your teen heads to a new school or experiences a significant change… adjustments both for teens and parents.  I want to encourage you to allow time for things to settle a bit on their own. For a little while you may need to get comfortable with your feet firmly planted in midair.

William Bridges has done breakthrough work on the topic of transition and has written several books about the topic. He describes what he calls the “neutral zone,” which is the place in which you find yourself during a transition. You’re in the “neutral zone” when you have let go of the last trapeze but haven’t yet caught the next one; it’s Linus when his blanket is in the dryer; and it’s your brand new high school student who doesn’t yet know her way from class to class. Perhaps you are in the neutral zone dealing with new intense feelings as you haven’t yet adjusted to having your child away at college.

The neutral zone can be uncomfortable, terrifying even. And yet it is rich with opportunity. A neutral zone experience opens up new possibilities. It can initiate creativity and innovation. It is a catalyst… forcing you to find new relationships and new answers. The neutral zone must be fully experienced, however, to reap these rewards.  You can’t hurry through it or short-circuit the process.  

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Even if it is uncomfortable, try to be present with your feelings. There is lots of valuable information in your feelings; see what they have to tell you.
• Try not to be in action for the time being; allow time for things to take their course. The universe can do a better job of finding resolutions than you may be able to imagine yourself.
• This is an opportunity for valuable growth. Don’t deprive either yourself or your teen of this chance by interfering or directing things too much.

So for now, give things time to settle.

Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. ‘Til next week…I'm Sue Blaney