Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is - Help Your Teen Develop a Vocabulary for His/Her Feelings >>Listen

Why are “feelings” are important?  They are important because they are a rich and valuable source of information and guidance about what is happening on the inside and around us.

Teenagers are known to be pretty emotional – in fact, because of their developmental stage they actually feel their emotions at twice the intensity of adults. Their feelings can be a bit overwhelming, scary even at times. I’m sure you’ve seen your teenager have difficulty handling his or her feelings from time to time. Teens may have a tendency to want to squash their feelings because they are so intense. So they need your guidance; your teen needs you to help him learn to accept his feelings and to develop a vocabulary for them.

In Alaska the Inupiat people have 25 words for snow enabling them to see subtleties and variances that many of us are unlikely see. This applies to emotions: If a teenager is unfamiliar with the differences from one emotion to another – and some are subtle differences, she may fail to respond differently to the different feelings. But disappointment will warrant a different response than anger, or humiliation or dread. A teen with a vocabulary that allows her to identify different feelings has a vocabulary for a much wider range of responses.

Not only can you guide and teach your teen to develop an awareness for his range of feelings, you can guide him to accept them. There are no feelings that are unacceptable. There can be unacceptable responses and behavior, but there is nothing inherently wrong with any particular feeling. If you can teach your teen to sit with and tolerate the discomfort that may accompany a feeling, what she’ll learn is that the feeling subsides. It is vital to learn that one doesn’t have to run away from feelings, or even respond to them all the time. Acceptance, rather than resistance, is a valuable step toward a healthy maturity.

You have an important role to play in helping your teen develop “emotional intelligence,” and to discover new - and better - ways to respond to intense feelings.

Here is some additional reading on the topic:

Emotional Intelligence…It Matters and Home and at School

 Name that  Feeling; Some Thoughts for Parents

Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. ‘Til next week…I'm Sue Blaney