Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Encourage Your Teen’s  Relationships with Other Adults >>Listen

Brielle, 24, tells of a time as a freshman in high school when her friend, Ashley, thought she was pregnant. Ashley was terrified, and without anyone she could confide in, except Brielle…who had no idea what to do. Fortunately, Brielle had a great relationship with her aunt, whom she fondly refers to as her “fun aunt.” Brielle got the counsel and advice Ashley needed, and after too many anxiety ridden days, the girls found out that Ashley wasn’t pregnant after all.

What I want you to note about this story is the importance of having a trusted adult in whom these girls could confide. This aunt played a vital role for both Brielle and Ashley.

It is entirely likely your teenager will encounter a situation about which she will need adult input…and she won’t always want it from her parents. For many reasons teens may not want to go to you for help… and it is in your best interest to facilitate and support your teen’s relationships with other adults. Aunts and uncles are often the best candidates for such a role, but truly this role can be fulfilled by anyone who is trustworthy. Family friends, cousins, teachers, coaches, school counselors, faith leaders…. The more positive adults in your teen’s life the stronger his support network will be and the less likely that your teen will run into serious trouble.

I had a childhood friend Julia, whose mom was actually jealous of a special relationship between Julia and her aunt. This has always stuck with me as being selfish and short-sighted. There is no room for jealousy here; and as Brielle found out, a supportive adult can be a life-saver.

There is an interesting side note here about Brielle. Her “fun aunt” now has teenagers of her own, and her own kids consider her quite strict and serious. See, your role is different and you play it differently when you are dealing with your own kids. I hope Brielle’s aunt’s kids have other supportive adults in their lives.

What adults do your teens consider close enough to confide in? Let your teens know that this is important and that you support them in these relationships. If there are adults that you feel don’t share your values, speak about this with your teens so you can provide some subtle guidance. Then sit back and don’t try to control it, because this relationship is not one for you to manage.  

Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens ……. ‘Til next week…I'm Sue Blaney