Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is There is a time to get tough >>Listen

I’ve had a few interesting emails in the past week…and they, unfortunately are following a theme. A theme about teens misbehaving …seriously.

Many experts, myself included, give advice for parents and say things like “know your teen’s whereabouts; know your teen’s friends; know what your teen is doing.” This is good advice. And it is too simplistic if your teenager is involved with dangerous behavior.

I am a guest blogger for the Partnership for a Drug Free America and this week a woman made a noteworthy comment on a blog posting I wrote there. She said “My son is purposely secretive about his friends, their names, where they live, where they go and what they do. I seldom get more than a “I’m with a friends” when I call his cell… Everyone including his therapist gives the same advice [as you did above]; I’ve done it all and it hasn’t worked - now what? I’ve just finished cleaning up the mess in his bedroom caused by his… binge drinking ….”

It’s time to take action; it’s time to get tough. If this parent continues to tolerate this behavior her son can end up in serious trouble. What should she do? For starters she must have a serious discussion, set clear rules and consequences…and hold her teen accountable for them. The worst thing she can do is throw up her hands and say she is powerless. In fact, parents have more influence than anyone else…and if you won’t find the courage to step up and help your teen, who will? That is what it will take…courage, along with creativity, a willingness to face a difficult and painful situation directly, and possibly a long hard look in the mirror. This won’t be fun for anybody, but it’s a situation that needs to be addressed.

If this mom’s therapist isn’t helping her come up with a better plan, she needs a new therapist. There are professionals who specialize in working with troubled teens and advice from a specialist would be helpful so they can strategize about a specific plan for this child as well as to get support and coaching for the parents. It’s time to get serious, dig deep and take action.

Here are some links to additional information, resources and articles: