Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Think Basics. >>Listen

This is the 7th tip from my free downloadable e-book titled “Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.”

Have you ever felt that things were out of control in your family? I’ve felt overwhelmed with worry, fatigue and problems at times. When this happens, it can be particularly depressing to look at families that seem to have it all. One might wonder what they know that you don’t. What does that mom do differently than you do that helps her teen do well in school, or communicate with her, or follow the “straight and narrow.” We make our suffering worse, though, when we compare our family to other families. While we should be open to learn from others, we need to be careful not to compare in a way that makes us feel worse.

When things are feeling like they are spinning out of control it’s best to get grounded and simply focus on the basics. What do I mean by this?  Four key “basics” are time, attitude, support, respect.

Here are some good questions to ask yourself:
•    How am I spending my time?  Am I giving enough time and focus to my family?
•    What kind of an attitude am I projecting? Am I pleasant to be around? Sometimes when we are worried we project fear and end up being so unpleasant we inadvertently push our kids away.
•    Am I making my teenager feel competent or am I undermining his success? When we are concerned about his grades or performance we need to be careful not to put him down, but rather to help him believe in himself.
•    Am I respecting her feelings and allowing her the space to express them? Again, when we are worried we tend to want to get on our soapbox and dictate to our teen how to behave or feel. It will work better if we allow her to express what is going on inside of her first. Once her feelings are out we’ll know better how to respond and support her.

And of course your bottom-line question is:
•    Am I expressing my love? Expressing love comes in many forms….sometimes a light and humorous approach is best, and sometimes it means you make some hard decisions, or have a difficult conversation. Don’t push problems under the rug…face them, talk about them and get help if necessary.

Your teenager is counting on you to help him through the thick and thin. And the basics of time, attitude, support and respect are always the place to begin.  

We’ll continue with another secret from Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen in next week’s 2 minute tip. Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. ‘Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney