My tip this week is:  the three things teens need most are love, boundaries and power. Listen >>

This is the second tip from my new free downloadable e-book titled “Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.” 

It is helpful to keep these three things in mind: are you giving your teen what s/he needs in terms of love, boundaries and power?

LOVE: Is it an obvious statement to say that teens need love? I hope it is. And as parents it can be helpful to tune in to your behavior to make sure that the ways you are expressing love are age appropriate, and getting through to your teen.  Those are two important points: “Age appropriate” doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to be less expressive than you were when your teen was young, but it does mean your methods of expressing love should respect her growing maturity. And remember – the only messages that matter are the ones he hears. If your message of love isn’t getting through to him then you need to change the way you express it. Say “I love you,” with your words, and more importantly, show it with your actions. It takes both. Often the most effective way to show your love is in quiet ways….sit down to talk with him; take the time to really tune in to your teen’s feelings; don’t judge or jump in to solve their problems without being asked. And you need to know that the teens who seem to be the most unlovable need your love the most.  

BOUNDARIES: Giving your teenager boundaries, or rules, is a concrete way of showing your love. Clear rules and expectations help to teach teenagers appropriate behavior, so they learn how to act. When a child knows what is expected of him or her, he learns self-control.  Sometimes applying boundaries is very difficult for parents…and so you need to coach yourself here! You are the one who must stay committed, consistent and firm because you are more equipped to see long term consequences than your teenager is.

POWER: Teenagers need to develop and express their voice, their view, and their opinions. They want to make decisions for themselves, and with practice they will learn how to make good decisions and choices. The teen years are a time for kids to gradually gain power for their decisions, and for you to guide them as they go.

We’ll continue with another secret in next week’s 2 minute tip. And feel free to share this free resource with your colleagues and friends. Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney