Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Become an expert in adolescent development. >>Listen

This tip is the first of 8 that are covered in my new free downloadable e-book titled “Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.”  The most effective parents have a sense of where their teenager is in their journey toward adulthood. By being knowledgeable about your teen’s development you will be better equipped to understand him, to provide the guidance and support that will help him, and to enhance your relationship.

First, let’s understand what we mean by “adolescent development.” Think of a fruit ripening….say a banana. You would no sooner eat a hard green unripe banana than you would expect a one year old to write her name. Fruit – and kids – ripen on their own natural time table. “Development” is a natural process of unfolding, of becoming what one will grow into naturally. There is little you can do to impact this timetable.  While each teenager is certainly unique, there are some general characteristics to the timetable for developing adolescents, and parents who learn about their teens’ journey will have realistic expectations, and fewer surprises.  This will require ongoing effort on your part through out the teen years.

How do you become an expert in adolescent development? By accessing all the information that you can – read books, articles, access programs and resources from school, the general media and websites like ParentingTeensInfo.com. This should be an area about which you are continually curious. Observe your teen and her friends; note their sense of humor as it grows in sophistication; observe the way they develop and express empathy for others, tune into their use of language as their mental abilities grow and as they understand more abstract concepts. All of these areas demonstrate growth, and by tuning in you can help your teens expand their capabilities even more.

Here is one important point about teens and development that parents should know: Kids develop physically, cognitively, emotionally, sexually and socially. Parents are often not aware that these areas of development are not well coordinated or synchronized, especially in younger teens. What often happens is a kid may be ahead of the curve in one area of development, and behind in another. This can explain why you may see a 7th grade boy who is a confident social leader but looks like he belongs in 5th grade, or a physically well developed 9th grade girl who is behind a bit emotionally. This kind of variation in development is perfectly normal and typical in teens. So here’s how this knowledge informs you: parents need to know not to judge a teen’s maturity by his or her visible physical characteristics ….do not judge this book by its cover.

Study adolescent development. And I’ll help you get started in our downloadable e-book "Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen" which is available at our sister site www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com .

We’ll continue with another secret in next week’s 2 minute tip. And feel free to share this resource with your colleagues and friends. Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney