Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is: 
If you’re facing problems then focus on the basics. >>Listen

I heard from Ellen this week, who was just laid off. A single mother, she’s worried as her heap of problems seems insurmountable. And, as if her economic problems aren’t enough, her two teenagers have her concerned. Her son is doing poorly in school and her daughter is obsessed with her social life and friends that Ellen doesn’t know. She feels overwhelmed and out of control.

It’s scary when problems loom large. I can understand that feeling of overwhelm she expressed, and yet, this is when parents need to stay grounded and focus on the basics. While Ellen is juggling big issues on the job and economic front, let’s talk about her family dynamics. There is no magic potion that will help your family interact and behave as you dream they will. That’s why focusing on the basics is your best approach.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Treat your teen with respect. Sometimes when parents are feeling fearful or challenged you may withdraw or lash out without even being aware of it, so be sure to manage your behavior. You don’t need to reveal the details of your problems to your teens, but you can respect their level of maturity and talk with them about what’s going on. Teenagers are resilient and most will step up when it’s needed. Let them know you need their assistance, if only in their helpful attitude.
• Listen with your head and your heart. Allow your teen to share what is on his mind; listen for the underlying emotions that she will express. When those feelings are on the table you can find ways to support one another.
• Be comfortable exercising your authority. Even if you are feeling vulnerable you need to remain the parent in charge. Don’t allow your confidence to waiver in your parenting.
• Get help when you need it. Whether you need professional input to help you manage your family dynamics, or just input from a friend, don’t try to do this all by yourself. Make sure you have some outside input to help keep you thinking clearly.

All families face challenges at times. Remember there isn’t a magic potion or special secret that is out of your reach….the solutions are in your reach, and it’s a matter of focusing on the basics.

Here’s a WSJ piece about talking with your kids about the recession.

Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney