My tip this week is
Don’t let your teen’s moods rule the house >>Listen

My friend Carolyn and I were sitting at her kitchen table when her 14 year old daughter Jenny stormed in, slamming the door behind her. When she saw her mom had company Jenny stopped for a brief second and then flew by us this time slamming her bedroom door. Carolyn apologized and said that Jenny’s problems with her friends were causing misery throughout her whole family; Jenny’s mood had poisoned their home for the past week. She had everyone walking on eggs.

It’s easy for one family member’s bad mood to impact your entire household, but it isn’t necessarily helpful, productive or fair. Here are several ways to avoid having your teen’s bad mood have too much influence. You do want to respect their feelings and experiences though, so be sensitive while choosing your strategy:

•      One thing you can do is ignore their mood, you can pretend you don’t see it.  If it isn’t recognized or validated and you might be able to help your teen avoid getting stuck in that bad-mood place.

•      You can redirect the conversation. Your teen may be complaining loudly about what has him angry – let’s say he’s complaining about the difficult English test he just took. Rather than continuing the discussion about that test you might use the reference to bring up a great new book you heard about or an author that is coming to talk at the library. Redirecting can be a good strategy to move the conversation from the negative topic to a related one that is more positive.

•      Use humor: Try to lighten things up with a little humor, this can be a really effective way to go. A word of caution, though, be careful not to tease your teen unless you are sure she can take it. You might want to use humor that is directed toward you or something safe so this strategy doesn’t backfire. A moody teen may be particularly sensitive.

•      Last but not least, you can sit down and talk it out. You can view your teen’s anger or bad mood like a balloon that is filled with air. You want to help them release that negative air, and sitting down to listen to let her release what  she is feeling can be the best way. Wait until your teen is relatively calm and you can give her your complete attention. Then listen. Don’t fix her problem or give her advice unless she asks for it. Let her air her thoughts without you judging her; she’ll feel better just by letting the air out of her balloon. Once her air is clear, use humor or redirect your attention to something positive … now you’re both ready to move on.

Teenagers are moody, it comes with the territory. While they have a right to their feelings and their moods, it isn’t helpful to the rest of the family if you all become hostage to their feelings. Use sensitivity as you choose the best strategy and you can maintain the positive atmosphere that you desire.

Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney