Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is
Show your love, don’t just say it. >>Listen

In Oprah’s recent show with obese teens, her skilled facilitators brought together 16 teenagers and their families in poignant and powerful sharing. The comment of one particular Dad struck me as he said that he and his son never once talked about feelings. The father said “I tell him I love him everyday, but I see that isn’t enough. I need to show him through my actions.”

Telling your teenagers that you love them is very important, but sometimes words just aren’t enough. The Dad in this story was a single Dad, and had to spend a lot of his time at work in order to make ends meet.  I can appreciate why he felt pinched for time. But he got it right when he realized he needed to make some changes.

At its most basic level, showing your teen that you love him or her is a matter of your focus. When you focus your full attention on your teen you demonstrate your love through your actions, and actions do speak louder than words.  What are some actions you can take to show how much you care? Turn the tv off while you eat dinner together, spend some time asking how his day was; offer to review her homework; go out of your way to pick him up at school.  Try to develop some regular one-on-one time - take her out for a cup of hot chocolate every Saturday morning; have a nightly cup of tea with him during a study break; stay up late on Friday night to watch a movie together. Don’t be afraid of your teen expressing his feelings or struggles; one of the most profound ways you can show your love is to simply listen; don’t fix, don’t defend, don’t agree or disagree….just listen.

Particularly when time is scarce, focus on the quality of your time together by giving your teen your complete, undivided attention. Show her through your actions, your focus, and the quality of your listening that you care deeply about what she thinks, feels and does. Encourage him to speak his mind and share his feelings with you.

It doesn’t have to take a lot of time to create opportunities for your love to shine through in your actions.

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Teens…….

Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney