Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is:
It is easier to giveth than to taketh away >>Listen

How many of you have given your teenager a privilege, only to see it abused and wish you had never given it in the first place? Probably 100% of you; so you’re in good company - I think we've all been in this boat. It is so easy to be convinced by a persuasive or demanding teenager that giving in is the right thing to do. But, you also know how difficult it is to take away a privilege once it’s been given.

How about another strategy? Let’s consider the benefits in taking a step back, and carefully thinking through the expectations that will accompany a new privilege. It’s the proactive parent who will think through these questions:

• Is my teenager responsible enough for this privilege?
• How has s/he demonstrated this?
• Is this age-appropriate?
• Why am I considering giving in to this? Who will benefit? Am I sure it’s a good idea?
• Have we talked out the rules and expectations that will accompany this privilege?
• Should we consider creating a contract in writing that outlines our agreement?

A favorite client of mine just sent me a copy of the written agreement she and her daughter created as the daughter was permitted to get a cell phone*. Another client was complaining about the inappropriate messages that his daughter had put on her MySpace page, so he is having to that privilege taken away.

It’s best to think these things through up front when you can. If you’re not sure how to answer the questions above, talk to your peers, or do some research on the internet. Don’t be pressured or bullied into making hasty decisions; when things work out well you’ll be glad you have your expectations and agreement clearly understood by all.

*By the way, you can check out this parent-teen cell phone agreement; I just posted it at www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com

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Teens…….

 Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney.