Hi - Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is to:
View failure as a gift! >>Listen

You might think I’m off my rocker on this one…but hang on and hear me out…because kids who are afraid to FAIL are afraid to TRY NEW THINGS!

Think about the times you have failed. I’m sure you, like many adults, are able to see your failures as valuable learning experiences. Because of adults’ broader perspectives we are more comfortable with failure than teenagers. Parents need to make sure we are voicing beliefs about failure that will support our teenagers in the long run.

I know a high school freshman who desperately wanted to be in the school musical. She failed to make the cast, however and was devastated. But rather than sit out the next few months, she decided she would try to run track…and lo and behold she discovered not only a passion but an undiscovered talent! Eventually she went to college on a partial scholarship for her track skills. Her failure ultimately led to her trying something new which put her on a new and exciting path. Failure can do that.

What do people learn from failure? Well, if he fails his math test, he learns where he should invest some more time. If she fails at making the select choir, though, it surely doesn’t mean she should stop singing. Steven Spielberg was rejected from the UCLA film school because of his mediocre grades.

Failure tests your determination. It can build character, inner strength and courage, and it helps you sharpen your skills. Experiencing failure helps you develop the essential resilience to get through life’s ups and downs. Surviving failure teaches you that you can survive bad times… this is a vital lesson for teenagers. And if they fail big…well, they learn that the only option is to get up, brush yourself off, and keep going.

How can parents help kids through failure?  The most important thing parents can do is love your teenager unconditionally. Never let your child think your love is connected to their achievement. While it can be helpful and sometimes appropriate for parents to soften a child’s fall resulting from his or her failure, we shouldn’t deprive them of the experience because therein lies the value.

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Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney.