Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My parenting tip this week is:

Empower your teenager by helping him build and practice his problem solving skills.  >>Listen

When your teenager is facing a problem or a challenge, it is normal for a parent to jump in with suggestions for how to solve it…and this may be exactly the wrong thing to do! When you step back and consider that your ultimate goal is to raise an independent, mature and capable young adult, it really isn’t difficult to see that the best approach is not to solve problems for her but, rather, to guide your teenager to come up with her own solutions.

Teenagers get to practice problem solving skills many times in the course of a week, if we let them. Wise parents of teenagers gradually become more like mentors, guides or consultants. We want to ask questions like “What do you think you should do?” “What would you like to see happen here?” 

This kind of guidance is helpful to teenagers because it teaches them to become self-reflective, and to develop and trust their own abilities to figure out solutions.

In this day of “helicopter parenting” too many parents are too apt to swoop in and not only solve their kid’s problems, but fight their fights and ensure they avoid failure and even pain. This is not only unrealistic, it deprives kids of learning important lessons that will help them through life. Sometimes parents need to get out of the way!

Your teen will be far more capable if you empower and guide his decisions, and in this process he will grow to be more skilled and responsible. What can you do this week to provide guidance and build up her problem solving muscles? Catch yourself before you swoop in with a suggestion and, instead ask “What do you think you should do?”

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Til next time…I'm Sue Blaney.