Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Be a Curious Tourist in Your Teen’s Digital World >>Listen
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that your teen is living in a different world than you are. His or her world most likely includes computer-based activities like online gaming, virtual worlds, social networking and more that you may find unfamiliar. Your teen is a “digital native;” you are not. This presents an opportunity…and your resident expert has lots to teach you if you play your cards right.
It is helpful for you to get a realistic perspective about how fundamentally the digital world is changing. In February, social network usage exceeded web-based email usage for the first time. There are 87 percent more online social media users now than in 2003, with 883% more time devoted to those sites*. This isn’t a passing fancy; this is a paradigm shift that has dramatic implications on all fronts. One study released this week titled Learning in the 21st Century: 2009 Trends Update says students have become…”'Free agent learners,’ and as such, they are less dependent upon traditional education institutions for knowledge acquisition and are much more self-reliant, exercising their internet-based skills to aggregate data and information. It has become increasingly clear that students are functioning as a 'Digital Advance Team' for our nation illuminating the path for how to leverage emerging technologies …” So, tap into your teenager’s world, and ask him to show you around.
My suggestion is to make this fun, and to approach it as a curious tourist. Being a digital native, your teenager approaches his digital tools, games and activities fundamentally differently than you do, so use this opportunity to get into his head a bit to try to understand his point of view. What can she do online that amazes you? What is fun about his world? Being open minded and curious will make it more likely that your teenager will be happy to show you around. Be careful not to express an attitude that is judgmental or negative in any way. If she plays games with kids in Japan, ask her to show you what she does. If he has an avatar in Second Life, have him give you a tour of some Hot Spots or cool areas there. Does she like to watch some of the funny videos on youtube? Ask her to show you her favorites.
We will discuss the fact that you have an important role to play in providing guidance in your teen’s digital life…and I’ll speak about that aspect in future articles and 2 minute tips… But this week’s tip is to relax and have some fun learning from your teen, allowing her to be the expert showing you around. You probably have a lot of catch-up to do, and it’s never too late to start. Your attitude of curiosity will get you there faster.
Thanks for subscribing to my Two-Minute Tips for Parenting Teens……. ‘Til next week…I'm Sue Blaney
* source Neilson: Global Online Media Landscape, April 2009
Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Your questions determine the responses you receive >>Listen
Have you ever been frustrated with the one-syllable response from your teen? “How was your day?” “Good.” “What did you do today?” “Nothing.” You know the routine – probably all too well.
Believe it or not, your teen may not be intentionally responding this way to make you crazy. The problem may be in the question… so let’s consider how to ask questions that yield better responses. More on Your Questions Determine the Responses You Receive - 2 Min Tip #62
Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is There is a time to get tough >>Listen
I’ve had a few interesting emails in the past week…and they, unfortunately are following a theme. A theme about teens misbehaving …seriously.
Many experts, myself included, give advice for parents and say things like “know your teen’s whereabouts; know your teen’s friends; know what your teen is doing.” This is good advice. And it is too simplistic if your teenager is involved with dangerous behavior. More on There is a Time to Get Tough - 2 Minute Tip #61
Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Set goals for your summer >>Listen
I hope come September you’ll be able to look back and say “What a great summer we had!” Now, think about what will have to happen for you to be able to make a statement like that.
Setting goals for your summer can provide really valuable direction for you…and for your teenagers. There are several approaches to setting goals; let’s consider two approaches. You may find one of these more relevant than the other for you at this time…or you may want to use both, as I do. More on Set Goals for Your Summer - 2 Minute Tip #60
Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Ask Yourself: “What do I need to Teach, Say or Learn?” >>Listen
Have you ever wondered how to handle a situation with your teen? That may be a dumb question…it’s a rare parent who has all the answers and frankly, I’d worry about you if you did have all the answers. You undoubtedly face many situations where the answer isn’t clear: how do you know if you should say “yes” or “no” to your young teen’s request to go to the mall with friends? Or out in a car with a teen driver? Or to the party she’s been invited to in a different town with people you don’t know?
Here is a question to ask yourself that can help you identify the best course of action in a particular situation. Ask “What do I need to teach, say or learn?”
Let’s use our three examples from above: More on Ask Yourself: "What Do I Need to Teach, Say or Learn?" 2 Min Tip #59
Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Develop and nurture a support network for yourself. >>Listen
This is the 8th tip from my free downloadable e-book titled “Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.”
It is remarkable how many parents of teenagers are not really connected to one another. In our crazy-busy culture it has become too easy for parents to be isolated …and this is to your detriment, as well as your family’s. More on Develop and Nurture a Support Network for Yourself - 2 Minute Tip #58
Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Think Basics. >>Listen
This is the 7th tip from my free downloadable e-book titled “Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.”
Have you ever felt that things were out of control in your family? I’ve felt overwhelmed with worry, fatigue and problems at times. When this happens, it can be particularly depressing to look at families that seem to have it all. One might wonder what they know that you don’t. What does that mom do differently than you do that helps her teen do well in school, or communicate with her, or follow the “straight and narrow.” We make our suffering worse, though, when we compare our family to other families. While we should be open to learn from others, we need to be careful not to compare in a way that makes us feel worse.
When things are feeling like they are spinning out of control it’s best to get grounded and simply focus on the basics. What do I mean by this? More on Think "Basics" - Two Minute Tip #57
Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Look in the mirror. >>Listen
This is the 6th tip from my free downloadable e-book titled “Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.” You’ll find a link to the e-book at ParentingTeensInfo.com.
I have good news for you, and I have bad news. Let me begin with the bad news. For those of you who wish to change your teenager – you can’t. You cannot change your child. Only he can do that. Now, here’s the good news… More on Look in the Mirror; Two Minute Tip #56
Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Delay, delay, delay! >>Listen
This is the third tip from my free downloadable e-book titled “Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.”
I have to give credit for this tip to the non-profit Freedom from Chemical Dependency. Their wise council to parents is to help your teen DELAY the start of using alcohol for as long as possible. Of course, waiting until they are LEGAL is the best strategy.
Are you of the opinion that it’s inevitable that your teen is going to drink? More on Delay, Delay, Delay - Two Min Tip #55
Hi - Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com
My tip this week is Allow Your Teen to Fail >>Listen
This is the third tip from my free downloadable e-book titled “Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.”
Think back in your life to a time you failed, a time where you really made a mistake. I’ll bet you learned a lesson you haven’t forgotten. We learn a lot by our mistakes, don’t we? It is difficult as a parent to watch your child fail, or to see him or her experience pain. But this is part of life…no getting around it. And you need to make sure your teen isn’t too fragile to handle it.
There is a lot of talk today about what we now call helicopter parenting. More on Allow Your Teen to Fail - 2 Min Tip #54
