Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is: Know the Meaning of “That’s Developmental” >>Listen

Do you know the meaning of the phrase “That’s developmental?” Consider this with me.

Your teenager is, in some ways, like a fruit. Seriously, stay with me here. I just ate a delicious, juicy, soft, perfectly ripe pear… it was a little bit of heaven. And although it was the same pear that had been hard and green just a few days ago, it was transformed by the time I enjoyed it.  Obviously what had happened, is it had ripened. Consider this process of ripening; I couldn’t really influence the timing of that, I had to wait it out. This is a natural process, one that doesn’t respond much to human intervention.

So it is with your teenager. More on Know the Meaning of "That's Developmental" - 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #122

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is:  Challenge Your Assumptions >>Listen

Karen’s son Gregory had had Mr Little for freshman English and frankly, hated him. Everything about their personalities, expectations and communication styles clashed. When Karen learned that her daughter Sophie would have Mr. Little this year she was very displeased and worried, but she wisely chose to say very little about this. And three weeks into the semester Sophie is loving her English class! Different kids; different styles and needs. Challenging your assumptions may mean that you don’t create problems unnecessarily.

Steven had always been a quiet kid, and now that he made the varsity soccer team his social circles were expanding rapidly. More on Challenge Your Assumptions - 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #121

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is:  Let Your Teen Dream Big >>Listen

My friend was working with some high school kids and she shared this conversation just as it happened.

Rob, a sophomore in high school, sat down with a smile on his face looking flushed and very excited. He told her that he had just figured out his entire life based on the classes he had chosen for next year. Curious, she asked him what he had decided. More on Let Your Teen Dream Big - 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #120

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is: There is Strength in Vulnerability >>Listen

I open every speaking engagement for parents of teenagers with a personal story that is painful to share. It was one of my lowest points as a parent, a time when I was humiliated. It is not fun to remember yet I share this story for a reason. I want everyone in the audience to know that I am one of them. I share their feelings and I’ve been through some big challenges as a parent. Instantly, sharing this story brings credibility, takes me off the pedestal, makes them stop thinking I don’t know what it’s like to live in their shoes, and puts me much closer to them, which is right where I want to be.

Pedestals are one way we remain separate from people. More on There is Strength in Vulnerability - 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #119

My tip this week is: Use Your Teen’s Favorite Communication Mode >>Listen

I heard hilarious laughter coming from my friend Susan’s kitchen window the other day, yet what I saw when I walked in didn’t compute at first. She was sitting at her kitchen table with her two teenagers, and all three of them had their laptop computers in front of them. They each appeared to be engaged in whatever was happening on their screen, not engaged with one another. When I asked what all the laughter had been about I learned that they had been sharing favorite web sites and funny videos with one another. What an interesting example of how our activities and communication has changed. Although each was on their own computer, they were having a shared conversation and experience.

I remember one mom telling me about her son who rarely shared his feelings or thoughts with her. More on Use Your Teen's Favorite Communication Mode - 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #118

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is: Build up Your Bank Account >>Listen

I love the concept of the emotional bank account. This simple and powerful idea suggests that the amount of trust that is built up between two people is like having money in the bank. When the bank account is amply filled your relationship is solid and able to withstand more challenges than when the account level is low. This concept is particularly powerful in families and never more so than between parents and your teenagers.

Summer provides opportunities for down time and for doing things in a more relaxed fashion. More on Build Up Your Bank Account - 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #117

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is: Use your energy positively >>Listen

Okay, so this 2 minute tip may be a bit out there for some of you, but actually there are thousands of years of experience, evidence and even science behind me on energy work, so give this some thought.  As you know there are numerous energy-based healing modalities… and even though our western culture has been slow to recognize their validity, this is changing.  There is acupuncture and shiatsu, therapeutic touch and polarity therapy and numerous other areas that are based on the body’s energy systems.

This can be highly relevant to your parenting because you can develop the capability through energy work to directly impact how you feel physically and emotionally.  And you can use this to influence the energy and in interactions with your family members. This can be very helpful when living with teenagers!

While the study of this can get very involved and sophisticated, and I’m not going to be the one to lead you there, I can give you a quick exercise in four steps you to help you tap into your heart energy in a way that will enable you to use it in your interactions at home.

     Step 1: Close your eyes and center yourself. Tune out the world around you and tune into your heart.  Sit quietly and focus on this until you can feel the love centered in your heart.

     Step 2:  Envision your heart encased in a bubble of love. Now gradually expand the size of that bubble… bigger and bigger until it encompasses your body and extends several feet beyond it.  Feel your love expand out into the space that surrounds you.

     Step 3: Don’t say anything; at first, don’t let words interfere with feeling the energy field. Just feel it. Feel your heart connection filling the space around you. This may take a little practice to maintain, so play with it over several days on your own. You don’t need to tell anyone you are doing this.

     Step 4: As you feel you can maintain this field around you, spread it further so that it includes your family members. Communicate not just with your words, but intentionally tap into this non-verbal heart energy and send it to your teenager. Allow this energy to fill the air and the environment when you are with your teen.

As you may know, I’m not living with teenagers anymore, my kids are now in their mid twenties. But I did just bring home a new 8 week old puppy, and I’m experimenting with this energy work with her and getting interesting results. Her responses to me change visibly as I encompass her in my loving energy field.

Have some fun with this… and let me know how it works!

Thanks for subscribing to my 2 minute tips for parenting teens. ‘Til next week, I’m Sue Blaney.

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is: STOP and Listen to your teen >>Listen

I have a fond memory of sitting with my Dad on the porch of our vacation home on Cape Cod when I was in high school. He was more relaxed and open there than anywhere else, and there we shared a great deal of laughter, fun, and time for talking. I can see him in my mind’s eye sitting at the table, sharing his experience and wisdom, and listening to me. There was a sense of connectedness between us that makes this a special memory for me… especially since he has now passed away.

If you have a warm memory like this with a special someone, take a moment to relish it, and appreciate it. More on STOP and Listen to your Teen - 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #115

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is: Fight the Addiction and Unplug! >>Listen

From my vantage point, it’s official now; every adult I know is as addicted to his or her cell phone as your teenager is. Everywhere I go I see adults staring intently into the little handheld device that connects you to the world… texting, sending photos, accessing apps.

For decades we lived without cell phones, and when we first got them they were a safety device, a convenience. More on Fight the Addiction and Unplug! 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #114

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is:  Develop Your Own Brand of Loving >>Listen

Do you have your own special “labor of love?”  My grandmother’s skills as a baker were legendary, and even her great granddaughter has taken it upon herself to try and duplicate Nana’s blueberry muffins. One memorable way that Nana showed her family how much she cared was through her baking.

Charles has a tradition of taking each of his children on a special trip when they turn 16. More on Develop Your Own Brand of Loving - 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #113