Social Media in Schools – Are You Ready?
The “yeas” are beginning to outweigh the “nays,” it appears. And I say “it’s about time.” Bring social media into the schools…. embrace it, teach kids how to use it intelligently, maximize their innate skills and teach them new ones… the potential is enormous, and social media is not going away.
Several new studies, articles and discussions among media and experts make it clear that this is a trend that is growing. While this approach is not without its detractors, let’s outline some of the positive reasons for embracing Twitter, Facebook and other social networking sites in schools:
- Engagement is the primary reason. Engagement in learning, in completing assignments, in collaborating with classmates, in learning new skills and exercising creativity. “When kids are engaged, they learn better,” is one of the key reasons stated in this Mashable article on the subject….
Advocate When Necessary – 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #149
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Advocate when necessary (Listen)
Carley is in a middle school where there is a heightened sensitivity to bullying. An incident occurred in which a small group of girls were – probably inadvertently – unkind to a shy boy in their class, and the interaction was viewed as bullying. Carley was mistakenly viewed as part of the group and was sent down to the principals office, but the principal wouldn’t hear what she had to say. Nothing she said would reach him and she was unable to set him straight about her participation in the incident. When she arrived home in tears and refused to go to school the next day, her parents realized this was an incident that deserved their intervention.
When is it appropriate for parents to intervene on your child’s behalf? Much of the advice from myself and other experts is to teach your teens to develop their own voice and to learn to advocate for themselves. …
Read MoreParenting Teens With Influence Or Contol
I didn’t think it was possible, but the other day my daughter looked at herself in the mirror and texted her friends for exactly two hours! We were on a road trip, driving home from a weekend stay at the cabin. The weather was nice as we cruised home with windows cracked and music on. I looked over at my daughter who had gone quiet almost the second we got in the car. With the passenger side mirror down, she was meticulously brushing her hair, moving single hairs, trying up-do’s and down-do’s. She applied lip-gloss, mascara, and powder. Then, between breaks of texting her friend, she went back to moving single hairs so that they were in the exact right place. To be honest, I found myself feeling really annoyed. I found myself thinking things like, “We finally have time in the car together and you are totally self-consumed!” I went as far as to think, “Was I ever like that? Did I spend hours and hours just looking at myself?” I even found myself feeling a little angry. I thought, “When I was a teen, and went on long rides with my parents, I HAD to endure their company. I couldn’t have conversations with my friends as if my parents were not even there! If I chose not to talk to my parents, I had to sit in silence…thinking!” I immediately wanted to say “Haven’t you looked at yourself long enough! Or, “Put that phone away and talk to me!” Before I said anything, I sat quietly with my feelings. I felt irrational, rejected, and unsure of how to handle this interaction. (Jeanie, mother of a 12 year old)
What should Jeanie do? Clearly, Jeanie is feeling a lot of emotions. Her daughter may not be fully aware of what’s going on, but she can probably tell something is wrong since roughly 80% of our communication is non-verbal. While her daughter plays a role in this interaction, how Jeanie reacts can have a big influence on the outcome. Let’s think a little deeper about what it means for a parent to have “influence”. Experts point out that there is an important distinction between having influence and having control. To have influence is to have
Communicating with Teens: More About “Loaded Questions”
I received some questions about my last 2 Minute Tip Avoid the Loaded Question and it may be helpful to dig in a bit more on this topic. One reader wrote: “In this weeks tip I understand the basics but I am not sure I understand what a loaded question is. Can you give an example?”
What makes a question “loaded?” The answer to this question may vary according to child, situation and the timing. Asking “Is your homework done?” may be innocent enough from your point of view, but if it brings up guilt or feelings of incompetence in your teen, it will feel loaded to him. But, if your teen is doing well in school it is less likely this topic will be sensitive. Timing can change your teen’s response to this question – it may be loaded today, but two months down the road when he is on top of his schoolwork it may may him feel proud to say “yes!” So, the first thing to know about loaded questions is they are situational and contextual. To determine if it is “loaded,” you will need to tune in to your teenager and ask yourself how your question is likely to be received from his point of view.
Another way a question becomes loaded…
Read MoreAvoid the Loaded Question – 2 Minute Tip for Parenting Teens #148
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Avoid the loaded question (Listen)
Sometimes conversations with your teenager go well, and some get off base so quickly you don’t even know what happened. Let’s see what you can do to avoid this in the future.
From the start, it is important to be sensitive to the topic, tone, and timing to make sure you are setting yourself up for a successful and positive interaction. Is this a sensitive topic for your teenager? Is this the best time (from your teen’s point of view) to discuss it? What tone of voice are you using as you approach the subject? Important questions, all.
Now for the biggie: the loaded question. This is where many parents get off base and don’t even know what went wrong.
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